Friday, November 27, 2009

Possibility:
The possibilities are endless. one possibility, two, three, and four. How can a person receive these concepts and digest the opportunities afforded, when the shot for any one is extra indecisive and the ending is something seen through a dense fog. With just one possibility there is much hesitation, but taking into scope the multiplicity of possibilities and how the nature f reaction compounds upon itself it is seemingly near no end to comprehensively make decisions based on the opportunity itself. To make a decision upon a mere instance or possibility wold seem impulsive and unwise. A comprehensive mind must then learn divisive techniques in which one can thoroughly yet freshly analyze what is presented towards a person. To take life based upon the possibilities and situations afforded us would be a violent system of reactions and could encourage a loss of touch with reality, based in the notion in some way of ignorance whether by choice or by misfortune. the self doesn't find identity from an action no matter how deep inside of an individual the action is rooted. A person is found not in anything not in material anything. Unhappiness results from the perversion and substitution with these items, leaving an extraordinarily subtle emptiness, yet perceivable. The Empty thus born can't obviously be cured by the same sickness, but instead needs to be rooted from the heart like a treacherous weed. The weeds in a heart are near invisible, but they kill the healthiest of plants around them, until if left unattended begin to shape the heart as though itself were a weed, and the weeds begin to dig and dig. Limiting the plants that once had feeling and the plants that once saw reality, the plants that felt the soft touch.
The remedy is a gardener and careful methods, but the problem with them gardener is he charges money, You see no one likes to work for free. Some plants are bigger than others, thus the increase of sacrifice from the heart. The gardener has many tools to work the land, yet the ground is often dry and digging through that dirt is more expensive, so more is given. As he works he reshapes and redetermines the dirt and lays the fertilizer and the ground must be cleared of any and all debris. Once this process has been started, it must continue or else the heart bleeds for growth and looks everywhere. Some hearts are still bleeding with arid ground claiming that their property deed is worth. Yet some are willing to give into this landscaping and be formed by the hardened hands of gardening. and so in time the plants grow take roots and have better ground to spread in than before, as prior the ground had not been cured, and tested, and made perfect. once the seeds hit the dirt it takes but a day for the sprouts to blossom and what a beautiful flower erupts from a finely groomed plant. the garden becomes a place of serenity and solace and the plants haven't been seen before and the beauty they withhold is needed more than ever could be known and thus it draws just one in and the discovery begins. So that another garden can be groomed

Sunday, October 18, 2009

confused no, a little. Yet focused. Quite possibly more focused through confusion in a way that matters intensely. I feel as though my surface feeling have become an avenue of just my inner idiosyncrasies which makes these surface feelings and reactions cheap, very cheap, no worthless interactions I create from the inner me. I feel like the inner me is inappropriate and has bad timing and would not be able to open his mouth because it would create distance through its unitarian goals, and would cut too sharply that the bleeding may not stop. I feel as though if I now spoke up there would be undesirable controversy and phoniness that would be violent, more violent than suppression. yes suppression thats the ticket. I will get on a train and go the other way. It seems like it would be better to do that than it would be to not be able to express myself in the very elusive and kind face of danger. At least danger for now. There may be a day when I can be plain, a day where my thoughts can flow straight unhindered into another's ears, but most ears are closed shut but concerned, most ears most ears are closed shut but ask questions. Why care? well its simple caring comes with the territory and this territory has been bearing similar fruit yet each harvest the crop is richer. Will I make wine? I don't drink alcohol. the fruit though is great. Once I see a flower though then I know. Once I see that flower I will rush like a father to a baby seeing the first glorious steps of potential, to harvest its magnificent beauty no bee no bird will bother the nectar, no swift expert will take this prize but no, me. Why me pick this sweet flower? This flower is a search I have been looking for in many fields. So thank you God, please grow

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Thinking on details. What an important area of life. Details define each aspect of everything or redefine things or destroy definition because of their relative being based in simple information. Details in particular to relationships are fabricating. They can be the thread or even the fabric itself of a relationship. The attention paid to these details initiates the furtherance of love by portraying its fruit in relationships. Details are a defining aspect at least in part of how well one can or does or chooses to relate to another. Without noticing these details the fruits of love seem to be delayed or cancelled because it seems that these details are the attentativeness to the relationship itself by which you can measure how to properly treat and adore another. How you treat details and are inclined to use them defines the matter in which you react to and in any relationship. At most times this is a choice of how to react. Though at some points it can be in unawareness. At any point details are extraordinarily important when experiencing the invaluability of a person.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I sit, removed from some friends both new, old and either.
Either way reminiscing, and missing.
Will tomorrow ever come in the same happy-fun-loving way yesterday fluttered away?
The time as it passed seemed in anticipation of what was to come
but now what has come is in the grasps of what has been.
Each moment in its community has been separated as one single memory in a stream of highlights.
Yet the reels continue to unravel.
some pieces of the puzzle seem to have been lost,
but this is my first time building a puzzle like this.
A puzzle full of dreams, love, creativity, manipulation, trust, and deceit.
Wait let me see the box again. where do these fit?
Removed.
my view, our view how many puzzle pieces can I see?
My picture doesn't look like the box.!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

This is Our God

I keep hearing this saying "Let the Spirit move" as in the spirit of God waiting for our directions to say yes go ahead and do what you intend to. As though we are some over protective parent who allows their children to go out and play in the sandbox. Do we really have control over God's spirit in arena's like worship and communal gathering? I feel like simply no we don't. (though I could be wrong because I still hold the idea that we have free-will) The idea that God can't move to me seems as though we are giving ourselves much more control than we have. Any time I think of God doing things in my life or after witnessing his influence on another's it seems like we are partnering with God's plan like joining into something he has already designed. It is not as though I said "Uh God I have this great idea for worship and I was kinda thinking you would be best in this one really emotional part of the service where I feel you'll fit best. Do you think you could enter there for me?". Instead God enters where he knows best. I am not saying God takes over our free-will to choose him, but he presents himself for us to choose him. I don't think that God allows us to say "ok God you can make yourself available to these people now" Because then obviously God would then not always be available. To me to say or even to have the mindset of letting god's spirit move is very limiting in our own perspective of who our God is and whether he is as powerful as we understand him to be. At the same time no matter how powerful we understand him to be he is still transcendent and above our comprehension, so lets not hinder ourselves more.




(This blog is open to rebuttal)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

wow I never ever thought I would say this but... I learned a lot this year...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I feel so stuck right now. Not stuck in a good place either. I am stuck in an ideal place but where I am is not physical, but a place I go to when I am STUCK. This is obnoxious the more I think about this being stuck a sinking feeling comes into my grasps indicating it'll be okay, I feel like maybe how things were are not how they should be or can be. Did it not work before, before I was stuck. the thing is before I was stuck it seemed like it was all working, so smooth. Now as I am stuck I wish I had something and often someone to relate to. But no one else I see is stuck, and things are passing me up. HOW CAN I CARE showing it has not ever been a trouble prior to this but now I feel like I have starved myself of this natural function. To go from a fountain to a desert is heart-breaking